As I was walking through the biggest desert in the world the Sahara desert. I was burning hot and need a rest then when I sat down something bit my hand.Then later that day I was walking trying to find someone I was in lots of pain what ever bit me must of been something dange.After a one hour I was very dizzy it was was nearly night so I sleep out in the open I was starving and in pain and in firsty. The next day the first thing I saw was help someone found me
Seb 4B
Good try Seb. Try to take out the word Then and see if the story reads even better. Remember to keep your writing in the past when it is a story (sleep should be slept). An excellent try.
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