Saturday, 16 January 2016

Week 2 - As I Joined the Queue

Jack and his mum were in their local supermarket. Jack had only reluctantly agreed to accompany her because she had promised him a spanking new football. Suddenly, his mum exclaimed “Shampoo! We need shampoo! Jack, I’ll stay with the trolley; you go and fetch a bottle from that isle over there“, and she pointed to the other side of the store.

Jack ran in the direction his mum was pointing, but he couldn’t see any toiletries. Whilst his eyes hurriedly scanned the shelves his attention was caught by a huge TV. “Awesome!” whispered Jack and immediately he drifted away from the shampoo and into a world of his own…

Would he make it back to the checkouts in time?

Peter 5W

1 comment:

  1. Great work Peter! I really like your use of a rhetorical question to add suspense at the end of your story. Well done for making the story very relatable and a life like situation.
    Could you try to include the phrase 'as i joined the queue' within the story to set the scene of being at the checkouts?

    Miss Jenkins

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